The day has arrived! Flash Fiction Blogfest 2011! Hope everyone is geared up and ready to go. Below you will find my entry. Enjoy the read. Good luck to all!
The Beast
A single security light cast a glow over the dark, deserted parking lot. Amy darted glances around her as she hurried toward her Camaro, the only disruption to the flat space. Footsteps echoed the click of her heels, and she froze, listening to the quiet night. Casting blame on her imagination, she scurried toward her destination. Her hands shook as she slipped the keys into the door and turned the lock.
Cold, soft hands covered her mouth, and an arm slinked around her waist. Warm breath touched her ear. “I’ve been waiting.”
Recognizing the voice, Amy twisted free and turned on her boyfriend, Brad. “That wasn’t funny!” She punched him on the arm, jumped into the car, and slammed the door behind her.
Brad opened it, leaned toward her, and placed a kiss on her forehead. “Sorry.” He sighed. “Could you give me a ride?”
She rolled her eyes, but smiled. “Get in.” She couldn’t resist his boyish ways, no matter how many pranks he played. She popped on the inside light, did a quick makeup check, and dimmed the light.
Outside, a strong wind stirred and rocked the car. Terror wrapped its arms around her. Amy jumped from the car and circled it. Brad was gone. A drop of liquid hit her check, and she looked up in dread.
Brad’s limp body hung from the claws of a creature. Dark wings flapped, holding it in place, and it stared at her. The voice scratched and hissed, but she was able to make out its words. “I came for you, but he’ll do for now. I’ll have you next time.”
She lowered her head and wandered back to the driver’s seat. Dread and regret filled her. She should have warned Brad of the beast who stalked her, craving her blood. It may have saved his life, but it may have ended hers. She wiped the wetness from her cheek. Her hand came away bloody. “Next time,” she whispered and pulled out of the parking lot.
Friday, May 6, 2011
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23 comments:
An intriguing situation that makes me want to read more.
You set the mood wonderfully. Put me on the edge of my seat from the beginning. Nicely done.
Very interesting- I'm very curious for more.
Stu, Christine, Summer,
Thank you all for coming by for Blogfest. I'm glad you enjoyed my piece of flash fiction.
Thank you for entering! I'll announce the finalists on Monday on my blog, and I'll drop back by here and give you a comment on your entry then as well.
Oh, creepy! Loved the suspense. My favorite line was "Terror wrapped its arms around her." So atmospheric!
Cherie, Thank you for hosting the event.
Great roller coaster ride. :) Loved that it went from creepy, to innocent, to terrifying!
Nicole and Janel,
Thank you so much for stopping by and reading. Glad you both enjoyed it.
Great mood flow! I hope she gets it (whatever it is) good.
Rebecca, Glad you enjoyed. Thanks for coming by.
Wow! Definitely a dark twist to that one. I like!
Wow. Good foreshadowing! I can definitely see this extending to a longer piece of fiction.
Good luck for the blog fest! I also entered.
Bill and Lana,
Thank you so much for stopping by. Glad you enjoyed the read.
That was chilling! Poor Brad...
Great atmosphere...and pacing...Brad appeared at just the right time - what an ending! Good job!
J.C. and Kittie,
Thank you so much for stopping by and following. Looks like I better get ready for my 100 followers party, lol. Glad you like the story.
Wow, she needs to find a new boyfriend quick before that thing comes back!
Nice twist on the ending. I'm follower 91. You're closing in fast on that first 100!
Lisa, I guess she does, lol. Thanks for stopping by and following. 1st 100, when I started the blog I never dreamed I'd even get close.
Cher, great twist at the end with her knowing the beast. I wonder why he's stalking just her. Is her blood special? It feels like there could be more to this story. Great imagery!
Creepy story! I like the ending. Girl needs another BF fast. Either that or do something about the monster. Preferably both!
Almost a hundred followers, huh? That's great. I don't even have my first 20 yet. :P
storytreasury, Thanks for stopping by. Glad you enjoyed the story. Followers come with time, just keep posting. :)
Cherie, Thanks for stopping by. Glad you liked the story.
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